| I'm not in the fast lane. What's in and | | | | around the waist, I had shoulder harness |
| what's on the road pass me by. My car is | | | | belts installed. I only have an air bag when |
| thirty-eight years old. In people years | | | | Cousin Walter is riding with me. |
| that's five hundred ninety. | | | | |
| | | | It was Cousin Walter who gave me the survival |
| I've had my car for twenty of its | | | | kit to keep in Huey's trunk. I assumed it was |
| thirty-eight years. In DMV years twenty is at | | | | in case of earthquakes, but Cousin Walter |
| least four times I haven'thad to register a | | | | said it was because Huey quakes. |
| new car. | | | | |
| | | | Huey and I are growing older together - quake |
| A new car starts depreciating as soon as it | | | | for quake and wrinkle for wrinkle; but |
| leaves the dealership. My car's appreciating, | | | | because Huey is made out of metal, his |
| which I appreciate - especially as I didn't | | | | wrinkles have to be removed by a metal |
| know how expensive it was going to be to feed | | | | surgeon. |
| it gas. Of course, I didn't know how | | | | |
| expensive it was going to be to feed teenage | | | | Although Huey lacks modern conveniences, |
| sons. | | | | there's a distinct advantage to driving an |
| | | | old car. It encourages other drivers to be |
| I named my car because no one should ride | | | | patient. They let Huey in front of them and |
| with a stranger. His name is Huey and he's a | | | | they don't honk if he doesn't spring forward |
| Mercedes convertible. However, Huey's too old | | | | when traffic lights turn green or if he |
| to have a top that goes down automatically. | | | | stalls. |
| After struggling several times to put the top | | | | |
| down manually and then stretch the boot over | | | | My husband doesn't think drivers are driving |
| it, I decided Huey qualified as a hard top. | | | | respectfully because of Huey's age. He thinks |
| | | | they're driving defensively because I'm a |
| Huey is also too old to have automatic | | | | blond driving an old bomb. |
| windows. When someone taps on the passenger | | | | |
| window, I have to crawl over the gear shift | | | | Yes, Huey is old; and yes, it's expensive |
| to roll it down. Then the tapper feels | | | | when he has to be fixed. Nevertheless, I'm |
| embarrassed, but I feel worse. I feel shifty. | | | | frequently asked if I want to sell Huey and |
| | | | I'm flattered - except when it's my husband |
| Because Huey's original seat belts went only | | | | who asks. |